Brave Sir Dayton

In case you missed the Progressive-Liberal-Demcorat agenda, Mobopolis artist David Burnon provides his perspective in this spoof of the Eric Idle character. Click the image for a high resolution version; the detail is almost as breathtaking as the disaster if Dayton is elected governor.

Two Below Honey

Our friends at Minnesotans for Global Warming send their video greetings from Minne-So-Cold with this Van Morrison-inspired "Two Below Honey." At just under seven minutes, it's too long, but it's still hilarious, so watch the whole darn thing (current Twin Cities global cooling temperature: -7 degrees F).

UPDATE: "Two Below Honey" was removed from YouTube due to a copyright claim. It was fun while it lasted.

President Bush's three letters to President Obama

It has been a tradition for the outgoing U.S. President to leave a note for his successor in the top drawer of his desk in the Oval Office. We have received an e-mail message from an outgoing Bush staffer with Minnesota connections that contains the entire text of President George W. Bush's three letters to President Barack Obama, each in its own numbered, sealed envelope:

Letter #1

Dear President Obama:

If you are reading this letter, you have been sworn in as the 44th President of the United States of America. Congratulations. My advice to you in your first year in office is this: Whenever something goes wrong, blame it on me.

If things are still going badly on January 20, 2010, please open Letter #2.

Letter #2

Dear President Obama:

If you are reading this letter, things have not gone so well in your first year in office. My advice to you in 2010 is this: Whenever something goes wrong, blame Congress.

If things are still going badly on January 20, 2011, please open Letter #3.

Letter #3

Dear President Obama:

If you are reading this letter, things are not going well for your administration, and even your reelection now appears in doubt.

My advice to you in 2011 is this: Prepare three letters.

Grandma Got Run Over by Obama

"I can no more disown [Jeremiah Wright] than I can my white grandmother — a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe." —Barack Obama

I am one of those (probably rare) persons who purposely listens to those 24/7 Christmas music radio stations, from Thanksgiving to New Year's, and enjoys it. So of course I just can't get this song out of my head...

Grandma Got Run Over by Obama*

Grandma got run over by Obama
Just so Barack could gain on Hillary
You can't believe he'd stoop low for endorsement
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

It began with Barack's "change" call
It gave him a big poll boost
Oprah helped him fill each grange hall
Then Reverend Wright's chickens came home to roost.
(Home to roost!)

Suddenly "black" was an issue
A speech on race he had to write
He told a story 'bout his Grandma
And became a politician overnight.

Grandma got run over by Obama
Just so Barack could gain on Hillary
You can't believe he'd stoop low for endorsement
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

The Dems know how to divide folks
Men and women, black and white
But what happens when they're both in the same party
And they're on the left instead of on the right?
(On the right!)

Now there's talk of an '08 "dream team"
To make peace 'tween rival groups
But who's on top and who's veep is the question
On the minds of Dem bigwigs and their ground troops.

Grandma got run over by Obama
Just so Barack could gain on Hillary
You can't believe he'd stoop low for endorsement
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

*Sung to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"

That giant sucking sound

"Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable." —John Kenneth Galbraith

With Governor Pawlenty opening the door to light rail on the I-35W bridge replacement, and a gas tax increase to pay for it, the affair is already teetering between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

To paraphrase Ross Perot, that giant sucking sound you hear is more money being vacuumed from your wallet. From the Taxpayers League of Minnesota:

As [Taxpayers League of Minnesota president] Phil Krinkie said on MPR on Wednesday, what will fastracking Northstar [commuter rail between Saint Cloud and Minneapolis] — which is projected to handle 5000 trips a day — do to relieve congestion on a bridge that carried upwards of 200,000 vehicles a day? And, with subsidies for Northstar projected to run anywhere from $5-$7 per rider (on the low end) to $15-$18 per rider (on the high end), where will future transportation spending be focused? Not where we need it, that’s for sure.

If you really want to talk about transit subsidies here’s another number for you to throw at your neighbor the next time he opines as to where our priorities should be: per Minnesota state statute, Metro Transit must achieve of farebox recovery rate of between 33-34%. So every dollar a bus or train rider puts in the till, $2 is coming out of your pocket. Pretty slick how that works, huh?

Are any of our elected officials planning on standing up for the automobile commuter, freight carriers, and taxpayers against these runaway trains?

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat, Part III

"The Ant and the Grasshopper," by Aesop:

In a field one summer’s day a Grasshopper was hopping about, chirping and singing to its heart’s content. An Ant passed by, bearing along with great toil an ear of corn he was taking to the nest.

"Why not come and chat with me," said the Grasshopper, "instead of toiling and moiling in that way?"

"I am helping to lay up food for the winter," said the Ant, "and recommend you to do the same."

"Why bother about winter?" said the Grasshopper, "we have got plenty of food at present." But the Ant went on its way and continued its toil. When the winter came the Grasshopper had no food, and found itself dying of hunger, while it saw the ants distributing every day corn and grain from the stores they had collected in the summer. Then the Grasshopper knew:

"IT IS BEST TO PREPARE FOR THE DAYS OF NECESSITY."

"The Ant and the Grasshopper," Modern Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

The mass media show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth,
this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson stage a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We Shall Overcome." They then have the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Hillary Clinton exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the Congress passes the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote!

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat, Part II

"Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the Democrats believe every day is April 15." —Ronald Reagan

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat, Part I

Fred Thompson and Hillary Clinton were walking down the street when they came across a homeless person. The Republican, Fred Thompson, gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his office for a job. He then took $20 out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

Clinton, the Democrat, was very impressed by Thompson's actions, so when they came to another homeless person, she decided to help. She walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. She then reached into Thompson's pocket and got out $20. She kept $15 for her administrative fees and gave the homeless person $5.

Taxpayer joke of the day

MUGGER: This is a robbery. Give me your money.

POLITICIAN: You can't rob me! I'm a United States Congressman!

MUGGER: In that case, give me my money.

(Hat tip to Jason Lewis during his show yesterday.)