Miller Time

Bureaucracy and over-regulation are threatening Minnesotans' supply of Miller Lite, Blue Moon, and 37 other MillerCoors brands of beer. The headlines report that MillerCoors failed to renew their three-year brand license before the government shutdown, but deeper reporting reveals that the State of Minnesota simply failed to cash their check before Gov. Mark Dayton shut down state government. The fees involved for a three-year renewal total only $1170 ($30 per brand). In an epitome of bureaucratic irony, by forcing MillerCoors to pull its product from sale, the state of Minnesota cuts off its nose (liquor tax revenues) to spite its face.

This situation fits into an ongoing discussion by Bob Davis and Tom Emmer on their morning radio show. They have been questioning the very existence of licensing fees like this. Why does the state collect brand license fees at all? Minnesota law surrounding the labeling of alcoholic beverages seems to overlap or duplicate federal law. If such a product is legal to sell in the United States, shouldn't it be legal in the Minnesota? What is the benefit of Minnesota brand label registration to the consumer, really? Besides that, at $30 for three years, the state might even lose money on every license it sells.

Some permit and license requirements protect consumers and the public, but others appear to be solely administrative processes that give the state government a piece of the action in private business transactions while adding zero value. (Anyone remember the Stamp Act?) If you're wondering what business owners mean by "regulatory burden," it's when government makes it more difficult to make a buck, and in this case, even to render a tribute unto Caesar.

There's a reason their baseball team is called the "Brewers"

"Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!"
—from the opening credits to Laverne & Shirley

On Saturday, the menfolk in our family took advantage of a little free time during a visit to the in-laws in Milwaukee to experience one of the reasons why the locals named their baseball team the Milwaukee Brewers.

We arrived early to reserve a spot in the tour at Lakefront Brewery. It was a good thing we did, because by the time the tour started, the line was out the door waiting for the next tour.

There are a number of reasons why this tour is so popular. One reason may be that the product sampling begins during the wait for the tour to begin (amazing how drinking beer seems to make the time go by faster). Or maybe it's that they refill your sample glass halfway through the tour. Or maybe it's because the sassy tour guide is also sampling their products during the tour!

The $6 price of admission includes four 6 ounce Lakefront Brewery pours of your choice and a real, branded, souvenir pint glass. There are also a few unique sights along the way, including three tanks named Larry, Moe, and Curly, and the chalet and Fiberglas beer mug formerly located in Milwaukee County Stadium.

Lakefront has won dozens of beer festival awards for its unique recipes, including the first beer brewed without malted barley or gluten-containing products, an ale called New Grist; and a 100% certified organic British-style extra special bitter called Organic E.S.B.

On previous visits to Milwaukee, we took in the tour at Sprecher Brewery, Milwaukee's original microbrewery, located in a residential neighborhood of Glendale. This time we just stopped by the gift shop and enjoyed Sprecher's unique mini-museum of local beer memorabilia.

A totally different experience can be had at the Miller Brewery and gift shop, which unfortunately was closed for the Thanksgiving holiday. Miller's marketing budget provides a more packaged experience (with a lot more walking across the sprawling facility), complete with multimedia presentation and mammoth gift shop, but the tour of the old caves and stories of Miller's Milwaukee roots should be required for any beer lover's trip to the home of Laverne and Shirley. Even at a corporate "macrobrewery" like Miller, it all boils down to the water, barley, hops, and yeast (gluten-free beers notwithstanding).

Reservations recommended for all tours.

Lakefront Brewery, Inc.
1872 N. Commerce St.
Milwaukee, WI 53212
Tel: 414-372-8800

Sprecher Brewing Co. Inc.
701 W. Glendale Ave.
Glendale, WI 53209
Tel: 414-964-2739

Miller Brewery Tour and Girl-In-The-Moon Gift Shop
4251 West State Street
Milwaukee, WI 53208
Tel: 414-931-BEER

UPDATE: More reviews of the Lakefront Brewery tour can be found on BeerAdvocate.com.

Chillin'

Although not jaw-droppingly vast like the selection at U.S. Liquor & Wine in Minnetonka, the selection of beers and hard ciders at Sid's Discount Liquors is surprisingly wide and discerning. Sid's has imports like Moretti Birra Firulana from Italy and Smithwick's from Ireland; the local socially-conscious Finnegans (no apostrophe), brewed by Summit; obscure craft brews like Hobgoblin dark English Ale; and even a novelty brew called Monty Python's Holy Grail Ale ("Tempered over burning witches"). They also have a variety of brews from Milwaukee's Sprecher Brewery and seasonal variety packs from Sam Adams, et al.

A distinctive feature of Sid's is the walk-in, self-serve cooler, which backs up the standard glass-doored refrigerated aisle. It's just the thing when you need a few ice-cold 24-bottle cases for the party (yes, they also have kegs). Buy some Genuine Draft if you must, but treat your more adventurous guests (and yourself) to a choice of craft brews, imports, and ciders.

The Sid Applebaum family operates five Twin Cities locations under the Sid's and Big Top brands.

Sid's Discount Liquor
10200 6th Avenue North
Plymouth, MN 55441
763-545-0099

Beer lover's heaven

In Heaven there is no beer
That's why we drink it here
And when we're all gone from here
Our friends will be drinking all the beer.
—Traditional

On my way home from another long week at work, I stopped by a little liquor store that I heard has a very good selection of beer, US Liquor & Wine in Minnetonka.

"Very good" is an understatement. This is the widest selection of craft and imported beers I have ever seen: five aisles of beer. The manager I spoke to claimed over two thousand varieties of beer in stock. But you'll have to look hard to find any Miller Lite or Budweiser. This is craft beer and imported beer heaven — with a large selection of hard (alcoholic) apple ciders for good measure.

They have four varieties of beer from Sprecher Brewery, a German craft brewer in suburban Milwaukee (which also makes some terrific root beer, ginger ale, and other soft drinks, which I have noticed at Lunds). They carry beers from Cold Spring Brewery, including the one I took home, a refreshing Honey Almond Weiss. They have a huge pile of seasonal Märzen or Oktoberfest style beers, for which I never developed a taste, but the selection impressed me nonetheless.

I had originally intended to pick up a six pack of Samuel Adams Light, but they don't carry it. As the saying goes, if you can't find it here, you can probably get along without it.

US Liquor & Wine
11333 Highway 7
Minnetonka, MN 55305
(952) 912-0293

No, I didn't snub the MOB

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. —Benjamin Franklin

Pass the beernuts. —Norm on Cheers

I was on a family vacation last week, so I missed hobnobbing with my fellow wizards at the third annual MOB summer bash at Keegan's. Mitch Berg has the lowdown.

Speaking of beer, my family was vacationing in the Milwaukee and Chicago areas last week. Although my planned pilgrimmage to the Miller brewery gift shop did not happen, I did notice two new summer-friendly Miller brews (at least I have not noticed them in the Twin Cities market):

Miller High Life Light - a light version of the High Life brand, better tasting than the original less filling, tastes great, Lite.

Miller Chill - a chelada style beer flavored with lime and salt, which, depending on whom you ask is either a bold challenge to Corona, or an abomination. Unfortuntely, I didn't try it so I can't review it.

Another refreshing summer beer served in Chicago and here in the Twin Cities is Blue Moon, a Belgian-style "white" wheat ale, spiced with coriander and orange peel. Try it in a clear German wheat beer glass (or other clear glass) to enjoy its characteristic cloudy color.

Although Goose Island brews are available on tap throughout Chicago, the waitress at the Dock Street Cafe on Navy Pier had no idea which "seasonal" Goose Island variety was on tap (for $4). In response to my question, she returned from the bar with some beer names copied from the kegs on a scrap of paper, but none of them looked like any Goose Island variety I have ever heard of. Perhaps it was the flagship Honkers Ale, a good choice in any season, but it would have been nice if it was the Summertime pale ale. How disappointing it is when the waitress is clueless about the beer being served, especially when it's being brewed only a few miles from her tables.

Recently at the Sam's Club liquor store in Saint Louis Park, I noticed a 24-bottle variety pack of beers from the Milwaukee craft brewery Sprecher. Their Sprecher Hefe Weiss is a fine summer beer, especially at the end of their brewery tour, freshly brewed and served in a Sprecher tasting glass.

UPDATE: For the record, I rechecked that scrap of paper before I tossed it into the recycling. It was scrawled with "Summertime Ale" and another beer name.